Anger &Desire

Recently I happened to pass by the family court of Olavakot, a small suburb of Palakkad and a Railway divisional HQ. There was a huge crowd of young couple waiting to be heard of their marriage woes. Some of them had small babies on their shoulders. I wondered; if this is what a tiny place like Olavakot has in store, what'd be the case with large Metros? One of the several arguments put forth by the young couples is that, well, it happened in your period also, but you chose to suffer; we aren't going to do that. Why should we?

Yes, my young friends, we too had or still have, tiffs & quarrels and difference of opinions on almost everything. Who wouldn't have? Two people from two different families with two entirely different back grounds chose to live together, there is bound to be friction. Especially when their temperaments are quite unlike. But we opted for peaceful methods to adjust the life between us- that's the word, ADJUSTMENT,that's totally missing from your lexicon. We thought about our future; we thought about you-our children. That's when we wanted to be more discreet and more matured.We didn't want you, our children, to grow in a vituperative and volatile atmosphere.What? Did you say we were wrong? Should we have exposed you to every single petty tussle? No, my young friend, the result would've been catastrophic. Today, you have a huge salary and a bright career which was a direct result of our self control and maturity. No, I'm not being boastful. It's a fact. We didn't want you to tread the same path we had to walk along- the path of difficulties, poverty and agonising days when someone else educated us. That's why we gave you good education- to chalk out a fine career ahead of you. This career gave you all material gains which we, for ourselves never dreamt about. But then, what happened? Why did yours and your spouse's lives fell apart like a pack of cards?

Too much of anything may harm you. With too much comfort, you wanted more.When you didn't get it, floodgates of resentment and protests opened. Life at home became hell.Your pretty young wife was equally indignant.Won't she be? She belongs to same genre and she is least tolerant of you and your habits. Apparently her talks & deeds provoke you which over a period resulted in body violence. All set for a formal separation!

Bhagavat Githa describes in the chapter Dhyanayoga 4th sloka, how your own soul is both your friend and foe at the same time.Only if you really want you can uplift yourself or push you deeper into the abyss. You observe yourself, identify your strengths and weaknesses, forget your ego which is your greatest enemy and be prepared to forget and forgive. This will give you an opportunity to be mutually tolerant and adjustable which will help you to reshape your life. With reduced or practically non existent ego, anger will find no place in your response. Your family life will bloom again and the story will have a happy ending!

It appears very easy. But may I warn you, it's a very difficult process. Unless you really want to put your life back on the rails the problem will remain insurmountable.Since our ego is blown out of proportion we will be aghast to distinguish our real 'us' from the false one. If you're ready to accept it, that's the end of all your problems.

ALL THE BEST TO YOU!!

Murali