Bhagavat Gita- Chap13, Verses 7-11

There are too many fusions & separations in the process of body formation.In every fusion there is birth; every separation marks a death also.The separation of the sperm from the father's body is the first one and when it enters the mother's womb first death occurs to the sperm.It takes birth when it enters ovum and forms the fertilized egg.As we all know all separations are sorrowful like leaving father's body.The foetus dies and the baby is born! It is difficult for us to imagine births and deaths in the way the sages have depicted.This stage causes a lot of anxiety, tension and a defensive response though it happens in an unconscious state.This is also an occasion when two strong powers that are deeply embedded in the Ego according to Freud.which he mentions in 'Ego and Id.'
When the man separates himself from his parents and goes after comforts, desires and luxury, unhappiness inevitably follows him.He often asks himself' Who am I?'' What's mine?' and 'What's not mine?'Pride of a person makes him feel he has to be respected and treated differently by others. This feeling floats in the conscious state of the person. But when you become one among the crowd, your individuality loses its relevance. That's the occasion when one becomes boastful and bragging. Jean-Paul Sartre calls this 'Existential Ego'

Swami Yeti Nithya Chaitaniya highlights the fact that 3000 years ago our seers discovered the subtle nature of our mind with all its nuances. Freud and other psycho analysts could explain the phenomenon of Ego only after thousands of years!

Why Spiritualism? Why Vedanta?

Vedanta means end of knowledge.'When you know that you don't have to know anything else.'jnana is the holiest of everything The more jnana you gather, it helps you to achieve your goal in spiritualism. Upanishad  is a treasure house of jnana. Bhagavat Geeta in its 700 odd verses summarizes what all the Upanishads give.It requires patience, dedication and true devotion to develop a spiritual mind unwavering & unrelenting in the face of upheavals, sensual pleasures&death.

If you had asked me about spiritualism 3 or 4 years ago, I would have laughed at you. I believed God resides in temples and in heaven with the Pujaris being  the middlemen to reach He Or She.I 'prayed' before Him/ Her when I felt sad and on occasions when I thought I needed His/ Her intervention which very rarely took place by coincidence, But I never despaired and w as hopeful than ever!

On retrospection, I often felt I was never a good father or a husband. I failed them when they needed me most. My own incompetence, humiliations haunted  me. I played no role in shaping the careers of my children. They rose to the level they a re in now by sheer hard work and diligence, sincerity and integrity the qualities I woefully lacked. I adore my children for their love and honesty and the principles they uphold which have guided them very well. 

 As if this self-loathing is not enough, my eye-sight was troubling me following retinal detachment in both eyes. It is very irritating when you are unable to read the newspaper or books without a magnifying  glass. I had to use hearing aid . All this together was trying to push me down to an abyss.

On a fine morning, I switched on television and started surfing the channels. There was a discourse going on by some Swamiji which I didn't care much about. I lingered a bit on a news channel went back. I stopped at the discourse.I listened to it, but the time was up and the programme ended. I had no intention to watch it again tomorrow. But next day, promptly I started with Swamiji's discourse. It was Swamy Sandeepanandagiri's discourse on Bhagavat Geetha. I watched it on next day, again next day again and again....

Swamiji's discourse had a profound influence on my mind. I asked myself: Well, is this going to be my remedy for all my mental ills? Something within me said loudly-''YES!''I decided on that day to go all out to know about Vedanta and Geetha and follow them. I thought if I couldn't go till the very end because I am already in the evening of my life  at least by following it I can be a good person bereft of desires, greed, arrogance, egoism, dishonesty and insincerity.I read and re-read Geetha and I found everytime I read it I found something new and interesting. I collected books on Upaniishads  and commentaries by eminent Swamijis. Reading them and assimilating whatever I have learnt and trying to adopt a life fit for the final Ashrama, became my hobby, my interest.

And my tryst with spiritualism started.I don't know how successful I was in taming my unruly mind and suppress my ego; I feel I have given a good try and still continuing the efforts. My happiest moment of the day  is at 4 am when I start my meditation. I am ecstatic inundated with eternal happiness when I try to concentrate and meditate on Paramatma who dwells in me, in you and in all living objects which compels me to love everything around me.

Today almost 4 years since I started my experiments with spiritualism, I am a contended man, devoid of anger, free from most of desires. I have now rheumatoid  arthritis to fight with but the pain does not trouble me.I feel it affects my body not my Eternal Soul which can never be hampered. My body will perish finally it is insignificant.I'll have to change it the way I change a soiled dress. So simple.

Paramatma alone is indestructible, ever present and omnipotent.Think of Him there is peace...serenity...calm......AUM..............

May you all live in eternal happiness many many many more years performing only good deeds loving   every living thing because He lives in you and in them.

Murali