Arun, Ammu & Nikki left for Doha on Sunday morning. Nikki leaves behind a vacuum which we find difficult to fill. From 10th of Feb, we enjoyed her presence. Everyday we had something to look forward to-her antics, her cooings, her gurglings and her innocent smiles that lit up our otherwise drab days; we always looked forward to cuddle her and smother her with kisses which she seemed to enjoy; but all good things will end one day and in Nikki's case wasn't any exception. It was time for her young parents to leave with her to their places of work; we can't hold them back for our selfish reasons. We experienced pangs of these painful separations when Ammu and Krishna were small, but then that's life;that's how grandparents learn to bear the grief deep within when their children with their offsprings fly away at the end of their brief annual leave. After several years, at our ripe old age when we are no longer as strong and independendant as we are now, when our grand children will just have enough time to give us a hug or a wave or maybe a kiss these thoughts will brighten and cheer us up. Some of us may not even be in a position to think or focus our thoughts or recognize the very same grandchildren whom we had lavishly kissed and held close to our heart. Still, somewhere in some dark corner of a dysfunctional mind a feeling might originate-a feeling of warmth, a surge of affection for that tiny bundle of joy our grandchild was who with a toothless smile gladdened our hearts.
We will miss Nikki now and after a couple of months Ammu and Kichu (Krishna), who will go back to London to join their dad. One of the several ways to pursue the path of God as advised by Lord Krishna in Gita is to have a firm hold on your mind and for that develop detachment as not only a logical first step but a more practical and surer trail to follow. Now at this stage I cannot think of any other better way to console myself from the desolation I may experience in their absence and to reduce the intensity of my longing for the hugs with those tiny hands.As I'm still very much attached to my earthly belongings, I try to shrug it off with a philosophical resignation, for, I too did the same during my youth when I brought my wife and kids to my place of work. It's a natural process as we have seen how the tiny bird grows stronger on the food brought by the mother and flies away when the time is ripe for it to leave. It;s happening in our lives too. Think like that and you won't feel traumatic.
